It’s been a bit, but I’ve been swamped. Casting. Organizing. Working. Not sleeping. This is probably the closest thing to a production blog so far but it’s still going to get personal
I’ve always had a tremendous respect for actors and a connection with who they are as a person and artist. I’ve always been taken with the heart of some of the great talent that lives and breathes in this city and the journey they’re embarking on towards whatever comes next…
After going through hours of submission videos, emails and meetings with actors and narrowing down and organizing a list for callbacks for “Things I Don’t Understand” I have ten times more respect and love for them, and am both inspired by all the collaborative possibilities of this and other projects I’m working on and heartsick over having to make some tough decisions tonight…
I would just like to take a moment and say a ginormous “thank you” to every last one of you. I think a lot of what brings a story together, what becomes the heart and soul that infuses the skeleton of a script and the flesh and blood of production, cinematography and editing is the force of the work you do. We’d be nothing without you and the way you tie it all together. You’re our most subtle and yet impressive “special effect”…
There’s all these new film movements going on right now, indie to big, everyone patting themselves on the back and talking about their work and it’s a lot of times become a “me, me, me” and “my fllm, my film, my film”. There’s many hands that go into any production and each one has value, not just from the top down but from the very bottom up. The crew. The team. The family. The unit that puts it all in motion…
The cast. The people you watch for 90-120 minutes… the people you forget are people when it works so well… who give your work meaning.
And before I writer letters I wanted to take a minute and tell you exactly what I see out there right now when it pertains to ou actors and what sometimes is missed by a lot of other eyes…
For the last ten years I’ve looked around this city and I see all of you who are just starting out or have been trying to make their way for some time. I see you running from acting classes to temp jobs, providing your own wardrobes and transportation fees. I see you sitting after delivering your monologue or reading your sides, being looked over and analyzed for every bit of your image and words, sometimes to uncomfortable and almost inhuman silence and deconstruction. I see you waiting for callbacks. I see you eating bagels and pizza for many days straight (unless you buy an apple and bring it with you). I see you trying to find the perfect headshot and then affording the reproductions of it. I see you pounding out emails on keyboards on stolen internet in cafes and parks, making desperate phone calls to not even get a finished product but track down raw takes to build a reel which was your own form of “payment” for the hours you gave. I see you explaining to friends, lovers and co-workers exactly what is you do and why. I see you juggle the emotional turmoil of regular live, relationships and responsibilities in the tornado of unexpected that is life in New York City, making hard decisions and harder sacrifices on blind faith and love for what you do alone with not guarantees. I see you under the pressure of age and time, wondering if you’ve missed the boat or if you ever had a ticket to ride in the first place. I see the self-doubts, the insecurities and the pressures and all of the things that are your fuel become the thing that starts to gnaw and break your heart. I see the courage and the conviction that overcomes it…
I see you give of yourselves so completely, take after take, audition after audition, trying to pull it all together. I see you suck it up when things don’t fall into place the way they should or wish they could. When the stars don’t align and the dream is still a few miles off. I see the bewilderment and the pain of not knowing “why” and “how”, being compared to types and plagued with adjectives that don’t begin to describe the complexity of you and all that you could be and bring. I see you when you pass by a set in the street and wonder what it might be liked to be the one having make-up applied and running lines and how they got there. I see you huddled on the subway, reading monologue books and sides, breathing and prepping yourself on the way towards that possible big break. I see you being told the harsh realities of the business, time and after time by everyone and their so-called professionals. I see you being vampired by moneymaking casting and representation ponzi schemes and lasciviously ogled by those who go beyond a casting couch and have pullout beds. I see you trying to infuse passion and art into projects that don’t deserve it, but you give your all anyway out of respect for what you do.
I see the hustle in your step despite it all. I see the chin up as you push forward towards the dream and thing that fulfills you like it did when you were a child and had nothing but a mirror and a few toy props and won raves and awards, giving Oscar speeches. I see the joy in your spirit when you find a project that so compels and touches you in a way that goes beyond “dream role”, that becomes a form of catharsis where you can attack issues and questions that plague you in the skin of another, finding a possible resolution for both that is limitless magic on screen. I see you not being thanked for this gift you give… Thank you.
I see all this and I have so much respect for it. I’m nowhere near the only one. I promise you this.
And find it so hard to make casting decisions that at the very end of narrowing it down rarely have to do with talent or lack of talent, but more just simply what color works right for this particular piece. Red is no better than blue and what would green be without yellow and the hue of purple? Sometimes only a few colors are needed but it doesn’t devalue and of the others.
I appreciate the enthusiasm for this project and the work you all gave towards it already. You definitely didn’t make this easy at all… in the best possible way. All of you are so special and unique, each bringing something different and lively to the characters you submitted for. I know out there you have varied background and life stories, your own goals and agendas and meanings of success. I wish you all the best and offer my assistance along the way if I can do anything. I truly look forward to meeting and working with all of you on this and any other project. You deserve to live your dream in the best ways you can every day. I will promise to give of myself the projects I do with the same passion and integrity you bring, and try and create the best environment to work, collaborate and make some memories and art.
Keep going. And thank you again...
Next time I'll have some more info on casting, who's gonna be shooting the film etc etc etc
Till then... Stay crunchy even in milk,
D.
