I've been walking a particular road for the last four years and in the last six months it's taken me all over the country again. Now, after a simple phone call the other night, a few signatures on some contracts and some upcoming decisions it'll be coming to an end.
Four years ago on October 8th 2008 I was torn apart from my experience finishing and attempting to get "...Around" distribution, my life was in limbo and the entire world seemed to be on the verge of economic and social ruin or renewal. I watched a presidential debate in a bar, sipped scotch and had whatever little belongings i'd whittled down in my trusty black messenger bag. I found an old journal with a leather cover and inside were some notes and pages for a potential thesis year film during my time at SVA...
It was from January 2003 and titled "Configuration" and involved a character named "Bethany McNeil" (the original "Violet") who was doing clinical social research for a post grad doctorate and was interviewing an unnamed girl dying in a hospice and their questions and conversations on the notions of faith, spirituality, the after life and love. She had a best friend/roommate/former love interest named "Parker Foley" There were some notes about a potential love interest-side story involving a mysterious man of Islamic descent who worked in a bike shop near her that would eventually morph into the "Parker-storyline" as well as post-911 racism and fear of terrorism. There was a quirky french rocker named "Pierre" (no... seriously) and the earliest forms of "Gabby" was named "Lana" and she was a much-older and retired performance artist and professional bar fly. It's definitely the seeds of what TIDU would become, especially ten years ago and written by a then 20-year old me... but also is weird finding even four years later again, having seen the film more times than I've seen my own reflection and living it with so long, to see how my process as a writer works from initial idea, plotting, re-writing and changing over time...
It's been making me think about the new valentine-story and how that's shaping as well as the perspective of time and experience affecting the work...
It's now four years later, October 6th 2012, and I find myself coming to the end of a very long journey and starting what, according to some vedic astrology in a year of rebirth, will be a phase of writing and creating as well as living transition. I have seen some miracles in the last year that I never could have expected with the film and how it's played across the country, the honors it's won and those who put so great work into it have received. Soon it will be released quietly out into the world... and the hopes that an audience will find it much like it has on the circuit and spread it and the great work of so many.
We achieved the dream. And now...
I'll be completely honest in that I don't know what my future in the world of filmmaking will be. I love it and storytelling with all my heart. I love molding and working with people, the collaboration of getting in it with a cast and crew and bringing pages to life. I'll never feel more at "home" or comfortable then when I'm sleep deprived amongst 20-30 other people on a manic set trying to "get it done". It's the only time anything makes sense even amid the chaos and hardships. I don't know if I'll ever transcend what I do or if I'm meant to, whether or not "they" (whoever "they" are) will ever let me play in the big sand box. I've made a lot of peace with being fine either way... I have a few passion projects and ideas I've always wanted to do and if the opportunity to walk those roads came I'd saddle up and ride forward... I don't know if those will be a reality.
But I do have one more story to tell and one more road of four years or more to walk. "Wake-up In New York" completes a full-cycle for me as a storyteller but also in becoming an adult. I started "...Around" officially on my 23rd birthday when I told myself I'd just go out swinging and trying and make a movie and "Things" was me a few years later simply trying to prove I could do it again, have faith in a friend and learn from my mistakes.
The new story is me telling a love story. It's an honest to goodness sometimes sweet, sometimes painful love story. The other films have dealt a lot with relationships, sometimes romantic but not in this particular way. It's about growing up and changing and how time and unmet expectations affect us and those around us. The theme of home runs throughout all my previous work and this story does so in concentrated form because it boils down the essential idea that I don't find home in places I find them in people. It's been painful to write and painful to work on because it's honest in a way I don't even know if I'm ready to be, which is usually fertile ground for any art. It's also bigger in scope and structure as well as technical skill to achieve. In short while there will be a Christmas scene that will top the TIDU Thanksgiving scene in more ways than one and be true to my voice... there will be no dancing vaginas, comic crutches or asides. This will be the most different and adult thing I've ever tried to do. I'm excited and scared as shit to finally really dive into it...
So today a new cycle begins of writing, creating and whatever the future brings. TIDU is finally wrapped and ready... And a new road is taking shape....
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